We all know that judgement of ourselves and others is not healthy or conducive to a positive mindset, yet as a society we are addicted to judgement. We judge politicians, celebrities, people in the public eye, our friends, family and ourselves and on top of that, we react to judgements made against us. Our ego’s get mad and we react to anything from minor to major slights made against us.
But what if we practiced non-judgement and non-reactivity? What do you think would happen to our mindsets then?
I know for a fact that if we practice non-judgement and non-reactivity, we develop a positive mindset and we gain more time to pursue our dreams and desires.
How do I know that? Well, do me a favour and try this exercise out:
Spend a few minutes thinking about and judging someone you know. It could be your partner, friend, colleague or boss. Really think about how they vex and exasperate you, and really think about all of their weaknesses. Also think about how someone has made judgements against you. Really feel your emotions.
Okay, now that you have conducted this exercise, answer this:
How do you feel now?
Pretty crap, right? I suspect you feel really irritated and annoyed, and agitated.
Now take those feelings and go make healthy choices and take action to pursue your dreams.
It’s not possible is it?
Those pent up, irritated and annoyed feelings take you ‘outside’ of yourself and the ego begins to run the show – telling you how this person did this/that and the other to you. Which makes it impossible to pursue healthy habits and develop empowering beliefs.
Now what would happen to your mind-set if you practiced the art of non-judgement and non-reactivity?
* * *
Let me give you a real-life example of something that happened to me this week.
I was at the gym and upon completing a 4-mile run and some weight training, I headed to the health club changing room. After a quick shower I headed to my locker, dropped my towel and standing buck naked, proceeded to put body lotion on.
There were a couple of ladies standing next to me, one of whom was in the midst of telling the other lady that she and her husband and kids had just returned from snowboarding in Andorra. The lady who was speaking was gorgeous – beautiful with a tight, trim body. As I proceed to put my body lotion on, I caught the lady looking at me and as she did, she looked at her friend and said, “Getting fake boobs is the best thing I ever did – small boobs are disgusting”.
Her friend went quiet and red in the face.
I continued to put my body lotion on and pretended I didn’t hear her. I knew the comment was about me. I have small boobs. They never really grew in and I am an athlete, which certainly isn’t making them get any bigger.
And I am totally cool with having small boobs. They are healthy and work for me, so I am happy with them.
The lady proceeded to labour the point and spoke about how she wanted to make them bigger, she really doesn’t like small boobs etc etc. And as she carried on, I thought to myself – I have a choice here. I can react or I can let it go.
I decided to let it go and I practiced non-judgement and non-reaction.
I figured getting irritated and reacting to her was not going to help her or me, and I imagined that if she was that fixated on reiterating the fact that getting fake boobs was the best thing she ever did, it was likely she was trying to convince herself rather than me.
So, I let it go, finished getting ready and went home.
Why am I telling you this? Because we have a choice on how we react to things and it’s important to be mindful of how our reactions can impact our mindset.
Had I reacted to this lady, it is likely that I would have become irritated, annoyed and worked up and I would have carried that irritation home with me, which would have made it near impossible to work effectively. Meaning, my reaction would have robbed me of my time as well as my inner peace.
I am not saying that practicing non-judgement or non-reactively is easy. It takes daily mindful practice and hey, in the interest of full transparency, on any other day where I might be feeling irritable myself with peri-menopause symptoms for example, I might have reacted with a “Namaste Mother F**ker”. JLOL.
So please don’t be under the illusion that I have mastered the art of non-judgement and non-reactivity. It takes daily practice.
We cannot control other people’s behaviours, but we can control our own reaction.
Be mindful of how reacting to other people’s judgements, impacts your mindset.