Many years ago, I used to be a professional worrier – I used to worry about all sorts of things which I had no control over. And, the vast majority of the things I used to worry about never happened.
Many people believe that if they control their environment and the people in their lives, that nothing bad will happen. Individuals who attempt to control things try to guarantee certainty in their lives, and the thought of not having certainty can cause them to have high levels of anxiety. People who desperately try to maintain control become very astute at “fortune telling”, meaning they focus on imagining and predicting future bad events and possible solutions and outcomes to said bad events.
Perfectionists typically suffer from fear of losing control, and it is the quest for assurance and certainty that stops these individuals from making meaningful and impactful changes in their lives.
In order to let go of the fear of losing control it is important to realise the following:
The only things you can control are:
In order to learn how to let go of the need to control things, ask yourself these important key questions:
Speaking from experience as a former control freak, I can assure you that learning how to relinquish control will not happen overnight, however with continuous practice and awareness you can do it.